0.0

I don't like Creating Connections as much as before anymore...
Kelvin was scary again today...
Peter went to lie on the floor becuase Kelvin wasn't really addressing anyone...he was kinda only looking at Bella and then he went crazy and said,
"PETER GET OFF THE FLOOR! PETER! GET OFF THE FLOOR NOW!! and he looked psycho and like someone's retarded father...sometimes you need to psyche down ALOT Kelvin and did you know Karen was SLEEPING right next to you??? and you did not say a word to her....

I feel this program contains some ppl whilst the rest contribute comments and the others stress and go over details, etc, etc...
I don't know why but I can agree with the rest of the grade that getting their own classmates or friends from their own grade to literally boss ppl around and act all high and mighty or choose some ppl and hurt others is not a leadership skill...this isn't leading ppl although we might learn to feel what it is like dominating others and yes, i get to be a peer support leader next year but perhaps I don't feel right having to boss ppl around in my group because I'm not used to acting like that. But whatever.

and to those ppl that just wanna get into peer support to go to Yr 7 camp...get a life. It's stupid. =.=

Fairy Tail is super good btw. lols

AHH!

There was a baby cockroach waving its weird antennas about on the speakers =0
and my mum came along and squished it for me with her fingers and shoved it up my face and i started squealing...
haha

Today was a quiet day. Hmm...for thinking? lols
To all ppl: My Cbox is a bit stuffed but i can't be bothered to change it...hehe...so when you press enter for the cbox after typing ur comment it will be up...press refresh or something =)
kinda watching Speech of Silence and reading Fairy Tail and downloading 200 Pounds of Beauty at the same time. multi-tasking =D.
LOL

>.<

To amy: lols...I think it's fine now. haha. and the third last post from this one wasn't referring to our group stuff which I reckon is okay now?
lols...
I wasn't playing sport today (worse than usual aye?) because...I didn't feel right...
I don't know...I felt weird...perhaps its just me
so many depressing posts lately...when i read other ppl's depressing posts i start writing them too >.<

WELLS I am obsessed with this song now and the MV was so sad it made me cry T-T
LOL


=)

=)

HELLO!
WEllS I am bored so I have started re watching things >.<
drama-ing and anime/manga watching / reading...man it is obsessive
hehe
BYE!
xD

I am struggling with myself.

TT-TT

Hi!
It's me again.
Lately I've been having many ups and downs and I can't explain why...0.0
And I ain't pissed at you Amy =.=
How many times do I have to say it so you will believe me??
Ebony, did you tell Shailin, Lana, etc in your class about this?
WHY? They aren't involved (most of us aren't really) but it's not all that good to tell ppl even if you say A B C OR D because they will work it out...like Lana did...
I'm not targeting you specifically because I can bet some of us did it unintentionally too..maybe even myself...
I don't know1
I don't even know why I care so much...
Because it made our group all weird? I feel like there is something weird or like it isn't quite normal...or is it just me...
I kinda cried (for a few secs...i was trying really hard not to after that) which doesn't make sense because it isn't even my business...lol that was why I was looking down after Amy said I didn't understand because i didn't like ppl and the feeling...haha
I guess that did cut deep Lisa like you said but I don't know...like your eyes were all red and you kinda felt frustrated and annoyed at us for the way it was and maybe what Amy said made it even worse?
Are you feeling its too chaotic and problematic with us right now so you want to escape? or Like try to avoid us or you feel you have to be there but when you're with otherr you can forget and be at peace, happy and have fun without us being a constant reminder?
Nothing was really resolved was it?
When you asked us whether we wanted you to be be happy or sad and we all answered happy right way...I don't think we got the meaning of what happy was for you...
And if you are angry, hurt and upset I think I understand why...and if I don't I guess I just don't understand it...
BUT it will go away and then there will be a brighter day with more sunshine soon =).
Haha. I think I am over analysing. Wells, I shouldn't talk too much. It will get better so it the meanwhile...TRY to stay HAPPY...
and you are still acting weird. xD

^&^$(&&^(%^(*@@@&$&

OMFG
I don't know what is what anymore.
and i am PISSED'
i feel like screaming
and I am very sad about the way things turned out...
you guys tried to tell me??
When?
okay wells some ppl don't get it but it hurts when i dont get told anything.
GOSH!!!
I needed to let this out somewhere!!

...

Maybe I am going insane.
I just can't be bothered with anything anymore...
I literally stopped studying for exams after Wednesday xD
My Wednesday
i decided to not follow my sis after school by train as I thought it would be kinda weird with her friends but then i realised I hadn't paid for SPORT yet. xD
So I went to get a note from Miss Beek....yes the note was crumpled, liquid papered and dodgy looking but Ms Beek is nice so she didnt care and off i went to train station..
And i didn't know which train went to Cabra...LOL
I can't read train timetables. HAHA
So the man said go to platform 2 and catch 2nd train and seeing as I'll probly forget which train was second i asked for time...

and he said 10 to but i thoguht he said 10 2
and I was thinking...OH SHITE what do I do...i can't understand what he just said...i don't understand time xD never did. LOL
and so i stood at the train station
and then my sis friend's came!!!
So it was all fine. Ben wanted to smell me....xD
and then i got to Cabra station and you do see...Ryan and a frind of his got off at same station. The problem is I did not knwo which way to go to go up that ramp thing...so i said bye to them and walked down the wrong way like an IDIOT!!
and I got to a dead end on the station and went, "OHH!"
so i walked all the way back and then went to stand at the area near Red Lea's. Sis and mum found me and we went to eat at noodle house. i ate with sis, Angela and David.
Then we went to get cousin at St Johns Park High. Then when i got home it was 3:00pm!!
So i wasn't gonna study anyways but it was a fun day. LOL


WELL well. 23 DAYS until CAMP!!
i don't want some of the ppl in my activity group but i shan't say why and who...
hehe
and wells I need to put credit on my phone.
OMG. NO MORE EXAMS.
I stuffed mine. xD
what's wrong with me now? I'm not a nerd no more. I'd rather be a nerd and get really good marks.
haha.

=D

EXAMS ARE FINALLY OVER!!
I think I failed English...T__T
LOL
wells there are 23 days until CAMP!!
OMG >0.0<
that weird feeling came back
but its like weird...like its really rare now but its like there?
how strange...
haha I changed title of blog...lols
Wellls I kinda have obsession with Jay Chou stuff now and it cam from his album..
it sounds nice xD

YEARLIES...are nearly OVER!!

Hey!
Yearlies are nearly over...
and since I actually got a phone =)
I have been procrastinating with it xD
oh god. English.

Wells CAMP is coming up!!
in 24 days as Lisa says
and My Capricorn album plus jay Chou stuff is coming next week or so.
THANK YOU LISA!!

woohoo!
btw what is port your phone? I do not know how to activate my phone.
Haha xD

4 EXAMS LEFT!

3 DAYS LEFT TILL EXAM WEEK IS OVER!!
4 EXAMS LEFT!!
0.0
MUAHAHAHA
I will do a rain dance when it is all over!!
Isn't it great?
wells----------------------->
TO SLEEP and LOOK at HISTORY MINOR stuff!!

BOO!

Hello there. I am back again.
Except this time I've returned to usual blabber.
HAHAHA.
OMG OMG OMG
EXAMS EXAMS
ARE GONNA MAKE ME FREAK!!
AND I am still blogging instead of studying...i blogged quite a lot this past week aye??

goodbye.
exams - 20th~25th October
T-T
DIE!!

LOL

whoops. I like typed up LOL as title and then accidentally pressed enter. =.=
so it was like a blog without an entry.
now that is stupid so now i am in "edit posts"

lol. I think I got everyone confused.
Me so bored.
So I've nearly finished studying Maths except for Data and Indices.
=D
I took nearly a day and a half doing it but Maths is the easiest subject to study for so far.
History is gonna make my brain sizzle.
I like blogging to procrastinate.
HAHA
and to all who want to know what i am talking about.
YOU WILL NEVER KNOW!!!
MUAHAHAHAHA
LOL

I think I am too blunt and open.
Sometimes I say things or do things that hurt someone else but i don't know it.
I just say it. Whether it was right or wrong to do so.
Am I a bitch??


p.s. My sister left me with a question to think about..
Which comes first? The chicken or the egg?

Sometimes...

To Jenny:
We're you kinda annoyed how I told you something but changed the view so it didn't relate to me anymore? I'm sorry. but I told you too much so I had to make up other stuff so it would mislead you and maybe you wouldn't guess.
Sometimes you gotta lie because you don't others to know. Maybe I'll say another day. Perhaps.

Countdown - 1 day and a half 0.0

EXAMS!!


That's all I have to say
=0
studying is not helping me.
I will be very happy once it's over!!
=)

cry.

I don't know why. Amy's 100th blog entry made me cry near the end. I was fine before. I don't think anyone's seen me cry before. I hope no one does. I recently just realized.
Not many ppl in this period are actually having WONDERFUL, HAPPY, REAL days. wells, the ppl writing on blogs anyways. I realized i haven't had much of happy days since moon fest. Like you know, your half happy but your not at the same time.
I think I've only been half happy since I realized my problem was a problem...This doesn't relate to what I've said recently and before...but whatever you don't know takes up nearly every part of my life.
And it is so much easier to talk to people on msn. I say lots of things but then at school I pretend I don't see them so I don't have to talk because it might be awkward, or maybe I'm afraid of rejection...like saying "hi" to someone but they look the other way or pretend not to see you or sometimes they just don't hear and it makes you feel unwanted. I can't be alone with some of my friends because I know we don't have much to say with each other anymore or the conversation doesn't flow properly...like I have to make an effort to say something. Maybe it's just me.

I just really noticed. When I end sentences short or blogs are like one line....I'm trying to talk about something else or trying to say something without spilling too much. Short sentences mean i want to say it but i don't so i end up muddling things.
gosh. other ppl's depressing thoughts make me depressed and then i say too much.
What is with me?
Perhaps I listen to too much sad RnB. HAHA. That's funny seeing as Manda said my whole ipod was literally filled with sad songs....and azn music. xD

btw ppl read this book-----------------> Torn Apart James Patterson (it's so sad)
i also need to read Winter---------->John Marsden
Cory Friedman was an ordinary fun-loving little boy. That fateful March morning in 1989 started just like any other but later that day, he started to feel very different and the course of his life was set to change. It started with an irresistible urge to shake his head, and before long, his body became a volatile, explosive and unpredictable force. Overtaken by physical urges, tics and compulsions, the bright young boy started to feel and look like a puppet on a string.

Cory had developed a rare combination of Tourette Syndrome, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, Anxiety Disorder and other neurological conditions. The life he knew had been torn apart and his family was left watching him suffer. Desperate to help and hopeful of a cure, they embarked on a fifteen year plight which took them beyond breaking point. Cory was seen by thirteen doctors who in total prescribed sixty potent medicines. He was mistakenly sent to a psychiatric ward and. On the brink of utter despair, he and his family decided to try a form of intervention that had never been tried in cases such as Cory's: he was sent to a wilderness survival camp in a bitter, unforgiving snowy Utah winter. This felt like their final chance.

Throughout his young life, Cory struggled to have the same childhood and adolescence as his friends. From time to time an overwhelming anger and frustration overcame him when one doctor after another and an unprecedented number of medicines continually failed him. Still, throughout it all, Cory battled against the extraordinary events that were unfolding, and would take him on one of the most terrifying personaljourneys ever recorded.

Against All Odds is a true story of one family's courage, heartbreak, sacrifice and ultimately, triumph.

sorry.

It's too difficult keeping up with people's emails and adding them to read.
So it's open now.
...
ppl besides my group: please don't say something related to what I just wrote. i don't think you are supposed to understand. and lol. I am not emo.
haha

Lisa says your not supposed to keep secrets from friends and i felt like spilling (like jenny says)and so I kinda said it...
I want to tell you ppl...but at the same time I don't want you ppl to know
do you understand?
I have my reasons for not wanting to tell...if i didn't have that restriction holding me back I would probably spill everything...
(btw. i am trying to use large and difficult words to practice for english xD)

okay. let's write like an essay.

What am I not telling my friends?

I don't know what the source of this is. This feeling makes me feel weird, like hurt? but missing something. I don't know! But I'm not depressed. Haha. But it also doesn't come from stress over exams. Now that would be weird =/.
The only other period in the past this emotion came up was in Yr 1. I had an irrational disliking to school suddenly. Perhaps it stemmed from my horrible and evil teacher. Whatever it was i kept getting this ache and I clung to home and didn't want to go to school. But I didn't really explain it to my mum until one day when she took me to school and i started crying. Blubbering and clinging onto her clothes, I said I hated school and missed home. Everyone was looking at me rather strangely and my teacher just glared at me as it was morning assembly. Embarrassing. I'm not the type to tell people the things i think are important or significant to me...so I keep it locked up and I blab about the daily events of my life and school to my mum and sis but if i have something on my mind it stays in it's secret little box.
Anyways, I get this weird feeling and I don't know where it comes from. I was lying in bed the other night and I was thinking about one of the reasons why this feeling is happening. After, I kept thinking about the cause it felt silly and for some reason that feeling didn't come much anymore. Now, it comes more often (weird?). However, it is less than in the beginning when it came every hour or so.
I don't know what it is.
Here is Jenny's Doctor Phil conversation where she immediately came up with a cause but no solution. The cause is not necessarily correct...it's a burden. See below:
(p.s. I'm sorry to trouble you ppl when its nearly exams) I shouldn't even be doing this, I'm supposed to be studying! xP)

On an off topic whilst I wait for "My Documents" to load so I can look for the conversation; I am off school today because I have to study!! And currently probably everyone is at school :D and i am at home multi-tasking...wells not really. After this I will go back to studying Maths.

I can't find it...haha. oh wells

wells how was school today peeps?
i found it but its got some stuff that i dunno whether i should put up or not. so bye!

Daily work!

Daily:
~I will try to post at least twice a week
~keep it honest
~don't say too much or that will be horrible
~don't go on computer so much (I go on everyday since Term 4 started -.-)
~I'm muddled up...I don't understand whatever that thing is happening...I mean the source (what is it!!)
~I think I know but I might just be confused
HA HA
~Answer this question:
It's to help =D
so ...
How do you know when you actually like someone??

and IT"S NOT TO DO WITH ME!!

=.=

when i like someone, I'll tell a person first...lol
preferably in my group...

&& it only just started happening since school started. Before I wondered but I do not know now. Life is complex.

Now I want to say to LISA. who is currently offline after telling me I MAY OWE A $30 DEBT!!
umm whatever it was we guessed yesterday. Think as meh. because if you don't do anything it's fine. not horrible. not worse than bombing my house. if kill me for writng it here...I wanted to say it but you're hardly ever online now since exams started and I don't want to forget to tell you.
I'm glad it's over. Because I think you would've been the one hurt...not the other person. I'm sorry if that made you think worse...
i'm trying to make font size as small as possible but it aint working..

8-D

Okay it doesn't happen as much anymore since I wrote it down. What it is that is.
and if you ppl don't get it that's fine. You're not supposed to. =D
and wells I fixed my blog!
wells actually rosa fixed it. Haha.
But you see I actually learnt some stuff messing around.
=)
and good bye
It is late.and I must go sleepy time!
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

...

This is bad. Every time I'm not thinking of anything, IT HAPPENS. and I subconsciously does it again...but when i actually try to concentrate on it, NOTHING happens.
OMG. I hate this!

STOP

STOP!
BLOG IS BROKEN FOR NOW
I will fix it later
but i find something wrong with every blog skin and now I've stuffed it.
and so it is dead until further notice
lol

p.s. i really am over Shinhwa
HA HA HA
i don't care whether they live or die now
I have a case of obsession though
now i like Jay Chou
AHAHAHA
Kungfu Dunk <33

I am humming a song but i don't what it is...
it sounds nice tho
i have been reading Rosa's and Lisa's blogs
and it makes me feel as if everybody is going through random spazzes of depression
lol
and i kinda realized i actually do worry about my friends...well if i call them friends
when Amanda told me there was a suspicious car driving up and down her street and stopping in front of her house...and then when i drove her home from tutor and told my dad to wait just in case the burglar was in the house
HA HA HA
i am disillusioned....is that a word?
even though i know she exaggerates
and when i walked Elena home and i only walked halfway with her
i thought she might get kidnapped
but then that wasn't worrying
i guess i was just Elena might go missing and then her mum will kill me for walking only half way xD
and I do realize I get annoyed at ppl for a period
like i get pissed at everything they say and it sounds annoying
LOL
in yr 7 it was Amy for a bit, then Jenny, and then Jennifer and then Joannie
and then ebony
I can't remember if i was pissed at Lisa
and then it was Rosa in the van
ha ha I'm sorry to you ppl
its PMS
and now it's Elena
but it is tolerative
gosh what may be wrong with me?
i think I'm normal
and if you say i am not. it is because you all are strange and i am the only person that is fine
you know, blogging feels like i am talking to myself.
0_0
when i watched "Kungfu Dunk" it felt like an age ago but it was actually only made this year.
but yesterday I watched it again and i realized I'd forgotten everything.
how weird. I use the word realize too much in this post.
Jay Chou acts kinda like a bimbo in it but he is cool =)
even though he ain't that great-looking.
I still remember Secret though. it was a bit boring at the start but it got really good later. such a twist. I didn't know the girl was like a ghost/ person from the past.
Jay Chou movies are good =)
even though I've only watched two or so.
the stuff they do in the bball match at the end is not right. like of course it can't be like that but it is way hectic. haha
ppl see Dragonball movie looks weird?
and Kungfu Dunk (haha, jay Chou and Charlene Choi)
& Heart of Greed (Moonlight resonance is as good)
and TVB ppl
lols i am just bored


OH CITY yesterday
My legs were dying when i got back but when i sat down it was fine
=)
so i went home at around 7pm but ended up going to cousin's house
in caps i didnt knwo i was supposed to look at camera
haha
and i kept forgetting they were taking picture
i am such a dimbo
and to

BUI: why so depressed and glum all day?

at the end of the day after caps it was just me, jenny, ebony and amy busy sitting and talking.
lol. lisa, michelle, charles and bui left early at like 3/4 pm?

Moon fest...

I know this was an age ago but I'll post up pictures now
haha. so i havent blogged in about a month? ah wells. i cbb to go on pc.
besides i have the Wii to play on!
goodbye! =)

=D

Today is Wednesay 0_0
nearly no more holidays!! T-T
so its 4 more days till school
woopie...
so i have spent my holidays not doing much
and since i got out of online shopping and shinhwa i don't go on much either. lols.
and so i have been TRYING to STUDY like a good girl but it DOESN'T WORK!!
I get so lazy i haven't done anything for the past week and a half but only ONE AND A HALF CHAPTERS of SCIENCE NOTES
OMG!! =O
I got FIRE EMBLEM last sunday and now I have an obsession.
I shouldn't have been buying games...I play it almost everyday.
oh great. and my sis is busy playing Rogue Galaxy...
I nearly watched all of Legend of the Demi-gods
heehee
my sleep time is 12pm or something now
aish back to studying
exams are soon
good luck everybody!! =D